


I don’t love you like i loved you yesterday

by threecheersfortheblackparade



Series: Random Danger Days Fics [25]
Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album)
Genre: Angst, but its not that sad, i dont think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:14:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28998831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threecheersfortheblackparade/pseuds/threecheersfortheblackparade
Summary: written for the prompt “And why, exactly, did you wait until now tell me that?”
Relationships: Fun Ghoul/Party Poison (Danger Days), past - Relationship
Series: Random Danger Days Fics [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1908487
Kudos: 2





	I don’t love you like i loved you yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> party- they/them  
> ghoul- he/she/it/they/xae

_Why are you here?_ Its not a hard question, nor an unreasonably one, but something in the way they say it makes him want to cry. She’s not stupid; she knows shes no longer welcome here (kobra had made that very clear when xe dropped off the last of her things) but to hear such coldness from _them_ of all people- it hurt.

Then again, he had to ask himself, why _was_ he here? It could have answered with anything- it was in the area, it was lonely, even that it just needed to see they were alive. Once, maybe, she would have done, and party would have done that weird little not-smile and hugged her and made sure she was okay, but that time was long gone.

“Wanted to buy some of kobra’s blankets.”

Party gave him A Look- was his lie that obvious?- and moved until their face was partly obscured by a shadow.

“No lies. Please.”

He sighs, and opens his mouth to say ‘i just wanted to see you, friends seeing friends’ but instead what comes out are those three damning words.

“I love you.”

There's a pause, and ghoul shifts uncomfortably, fiddling with her long sleeves, resisting the urge to flee. He’s never been good with silence. Leaves too much time to think. 

Party is still half turned away. They allow themself a moment to think, and then school their expression into a mask of indifference, of apathy. They’re good at that.

Their voice is calm and deliberately devoid of emotion when they finally speak, like they’re on the edge of control, just waiting to snap.

“And why, exactly, did you wait until _now_ tell me that?”

“I- i guess i thought-”

“That what? That i’d still _love_ you, that i’d be _waiting_ for you, that i’d let you consume more of my life than you already had?” Their voice is quiet, and dangerous, and ever so slightly trembles. Her eyes dart around; he refuses to look them in the eye.

* * *

Once again there is silence.

“I loved you. I loved you, and you just decided- you decided to _use_ that, to _manipulate_ me, and then discarded me like nothing when it stopped being fun.”

He wants to say a lot of things. She wants to _apologize_ , to tell them she was wrong. He wants to _explain_ , to try and and make them understand that it wasn’t intentional, that he didnt _know_ . And she wants to ask them how they are, how they _really_ are- there are scars on their arms and she knows shes missed a lot.

Mostly, he just wants them to know he loves them.

* * *

In the end, he says nothing, the weight of the words too strong, and so he stands there awkwardly until they hear a car pull up outside the diner, and see jet star climbing out. 

“You better go. The guys aren’t gonna be happy if they find out you came here.”

He nods, and gives the place a quick once over. They both know she won’t be back.

“For what its worth-” she tries, but shes cut off with a wave of their hand.

“Don’t.”

He gets all the way to the door without looking back, but he allows himself to give in one final time. They’re crying, silently, and he’s surprised to find he is as well. A part of her wants to yell, and run back, but she refrains from doing so. Maybe in another universe, they ended up together, instead of crashing and burning, and dragging each other down. She can’t tell if that makes it better or worse. He can’t quite convince himself he doesnt care.

When she eventually manages to bring herself to leave, she drives 50 miles into the desert without stopping, punches her motorbike twice, sets her journal on fire, and then cries.

He reckons he deserves this. Theres no one else left to tell her otherwise.

* * *

When fun ghoul disappears off the face of the earth three years later, theres no one there to mourn him and he finds he no longer minds.

**Author's Note:**

> okay i wrote this at like 2am so pls tell me if it doesnt make sense lol  
> comments n kudos welcome :)


End file.
